A day in the life of Isla...

I usually start my day off with a little Yo Gabba Gabba. Sometimes my mommy forgets to dress and feed me.



So I find my own breakfast! Yum!




Once I'm finally dressed, I grab my Zack Morris cell phone and make some calls.




Then I play with this awesome barn my mommy and daddy got me.




Yum! That hen lays the best eggs! This is my lunch.




Later in the afternoon I like to try to squeeze in a workout.



I start to get a little sleepy after such a busy day.



So I try to snuggle with my doggy in her bed, but she always runs away from me.



Eventually my daddy feeds me, bathes me, and gets me in my jammies. If I'm lucky I get to play with my barn a little bit more before bed.

The End.

Play dates!

A week without a play date is a boring week for Isla and I! Usually, we have a play date on Thursday or Friday with my friend Jeannie and her adorable daughter Izzy. I've been so sick this week that I didn't even attempt to schedule anything. It's amazing how the lack of a play date can make me feel so cooped up in this house. Play dates are a win win for both Isla and I. She is finally old enough to play and interact with kids and it is just the cutest thing to watch. We've been to the Children's Museum, Kids Town a few times (I would have LOVED this place as a kid!), the public library, and next up is the Arboretum with my friend Katie next Thursday and her 2 daughters! I'm also getting excited to visit various zoos in the area and walking around lakes when the weather gets warmer. Without these lovely ladies to see on a weekly basis, I'd most certainly go crazy! I'm hoping to meet new moms in the area through a music class I'm taking with Isla on Fridays. Jeannie and Izzy are also joining us in this class! I absolutely love that our daughters can grow up together. In high school, we both took parenting class and had plastic baby dolls for a weekend. Alyssa and Eric. This is wayyyyyy better than our high school parenting days :)




Please excuse the fashion felony of socks and capris. Socks need to be worn in the play area.



Yum!



This picture is my favorite :) The girls are only 7 months apart, which seems like a lot now...but eventually we won't even notice a difference!

On my mind...

1. I'm terribly worried about the health care reform. After doing a google search on the number of uninsured Americans, I've discovered there are roughly 30-50 million people who are uninsured. I don't understand how doctors will be able to see that many more patients. Don't get me wrong, I completely believe everyone is entitled to health care, but I am worried about how it will all work out. I've read several articles on the issue lately. This article discusses the shortage of Primary Care doctors currently, and the desperate need to attract more students to this profession. This article brings up the alarming statistic that 45% of doctors would considering retiring early or close their practice due to health care reform. If doctors are leaving the profession at a time when they are more needed than ever, how long will it take to get an appointment?! What kind of care should we be expecting in the future? How great will our doctors be if they are not highly compensated for their hard work? Do illegal citizens get health care too? Isn't forcing someone to buy health insurance unconstitutional? I think giving tickets to people who aren't wearing seat belts ridiculous. The government is not your father. You have control and freedom to make your own decisions. If you choose to go without a seat belt, you obviously know you are taking a risk. (If you have a child unbuckled in your vehicle...that is another story...) If you choose to not get health insurance, it is your choice. I don't think the government should have any say in decisions like that. {I have a yellow bike.} Anyway, my dad works closely with doctors...and lets just say what I hear from him is not encouraging in the least. It's actually rather terrifying to hear what highly respected, successful doctors are saying about their future in health care...and what they fear will happen to their patients in the near future. Have you heard of a tiered health care system? I hadn't until recently. Many doctors are considering a closed practice where patients pay in the upwards of $2000 per year to the doctor to be seen. This is on top of medical bills. The doctor takes in 500 or so patients, and you are guaranteed good service. This is talk among the doctors my dad works with. So essentially, if you have money, you will see a good doctor. It's the people without money who will be seeing questionable doctors. My dad sees a doctor in a closed practice...and I have a feeling many more people will be heading that direction.

2. So maybe the end of the world in 2012 is not so bad??

3. I'm really starting to worry about the future of our country and what it will be like for Isla when she is older. Sometimes I seriously feel guilty for bringing her into this mess of a world! Trashy reality tv obsessions, cell phone/facebook/email/video game addicted teens, disconnected families, freedoms being taken away by the government, insane amounts of debt, schools with huge class sizes and limited funds to teach effectively, blah blah blah. I'm debating an Amish lifestyle. What ever happened to good family values and enjoying the simple things in life? I feel far too many families are disconnected from each other. I know my 15 year old sister lives a life I find completely disturbing and no one does anything about it. Oh, and don't even get me started on how trashy today's teenage girls dress. Gross. With limited positive role models, and emphasis on superficial things, I am fearful for the future of our children. Am I the only one freaking out?!

4. I think I need to stop watching/reading news. Seriously. Maybe ignorance is bliss? I certainly was never so anxious back in college when the only news I would read was the occasional Drudge Report.

5. I really want a mini van.

6. Really, I'm not a crazy conservative. I just believe in personal freedom and liberties. Go gay marriage!

The end.

Things

- I am far too sick to make my thoughts flow together in nice paragraphs today. Seriously. UGHHHH. Andy battled a semi sucky sinus infection over the weekend and seemed to function quite well. I heard no complaints at Dave and Busters as we played ridiculous amounts of games so we could buy Isla the fanciest of fancy stuffed animals. And by fancy I mean cheap.

- Anyway, back to me. A sinus infection in my world is far worse. I can't think clearly or function like a normal person. For some reason, sinus infections have it out for me. So thanks Andy for kissing me and giving me your germs. I am now miserable.

- Isla officially cut her first tooth! It's still only peeking out a tiny bit above her gums, but it is there! Yesterday was full of teary outbursts for no reason, which lead me to believe she was getting sick. I was quite thrilled to finally feel a tiny tooth! Now I can finally blame her fussiness on teething. Let's hope today is better! So far, so good.

- We got this for Isla last week.

She LOVES it. Although she still loves cell phones a bit more. Yesterday, in a half assed attempt to give myself 5 more minutes of reading blogs, I gave her my phone to play with. 2 minutes later it was completely barfed on. Not a tiny bit of spit up, but a major amount of smelly throw up. Yuck. I'm surprised it still works. Thankfully Abb had an old cell phone laying around her apartment. Isla has been crawling around with it all morning!

- Yesterday I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred! Today, my body couldn't be more sore! I absolutely loved it. Level 1 is on Comcast on demand until April 6th...you should give it a try if you are looking for a quick, intense workout. It is the perfect workout to do while Isla is napping. I'm hoping to do this during the day, and hit the treadmill at night, at least 3 days a week. I'm sick of being a fat person!

Mesmerized.

Here is Isla watching Yo Gabba Gabba after her nap. Her expressions are priceless! Notice her monkey in each picture. That is her new BFF. She sleeps with him every night, and snuggles with him when she is sleepy. He also gets the privilege of watching YGG with her every morning. I can't believe my baby is no longer a baby. She is such a big girl already! 8 months is right around the corner...

Love it!

What to do for my "something new"?!

I added a "Something New" page at the top of my blog. It will document my new experiences. I'm excited to add to the list and broaden my horizons a bit! Alicia, Pride and Prejudice has been added to my Netflix queue. I'll let you know what I think :) Some of my other ideas are: join a baby music class with Isla, take swim lessons with Isla, watch at least 1 sci-fi movie with Andy (without complaing), find and join a non Catholic church that I enjoy, workout 7 days a week for at least 1 week to see how it feels, not complain for 1 whole day (that will be hard!), order something new off of a menu where I typically get the same thing every time, start a conversation with a stranger (or person I don't know well), and attempt a new hobby (adult tap classes perhaps)....those are the first things that come to mind. I'm open for suggestions!

Something New

In an effort to be a slightly more interesting human being, I am attempting to try something new every week. I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut lately, and I'd like to mix things up a little bit, and feel more satisfied with life. My "something new" doesn't have to be anything extravagant. I will not be climbing any mountains or shaving my head. I probably won't even try sushi. I'm just hoping to experience some little things that I otherwise may not have. I contemplated going for a something new everyday, but I couldn't imagine how I would make that work. I was picturing myself panicking after a day where I did nothing new, running outside, and shoving a rock inside of my mouth or something equally bizarre and ridiculous. I don't want my new experiences to be desperate. I want them to be meaningful.

My first "something new" was eating a weird Mexican quesadilla that had mushrooms among other vegetables inside. I totally loved them. Score. I'm hoping to take some classes with Isla, as well as some adult dance classes for myself, read new books, go new places, try new food, watch one of Andy's "boy" movies....the possibilities are endless :) Maybe I'll even try skinny jeans when I lose some of this weight...

Oops!

Note to self: When it becomes suspiciously quiet, child is busy getting into trouble. This picture was taken after the dirt was washed off of her face.

Monday Movie!

PANIC!

Scene: My bedroom. 3:30am.

Torii crawled under the covers and scooted down by my feet. In a sleepy panic, I believed that this was Isla. I remember thinking...Oh God, how long has she been down there?! She could suffocate! So I jumped out of bed and carefully started digging through the multiple comforters I had cozied up with (I was afraid if I shook the comforters Isla would fly out of bed onto the floor like our tv remote often does when we are looking for it). I became frantic when I didn't see Isla, so I started searching the floor around and under the bed. At this point my heart was pounding. The one night I'm alone with Isla and I lose her!! Then, my eye catches the monitor and I see Isla snuggled up safely in her crib. Phew. This is exactly why I cannot sleep with my child!

Monster Belly

For the last 2 years I've had quite a bit of pain in my lower back on the right side. I finally decided to see a chiropractor. I figured as long as I am getting my brain fixed, I might as well have my back looked at as well. After a quick examination she determined that my pelvis is tilted forward quite a bit. Far more than what is considered "normal". She then said "When you were pregnant you must have looked HUGE."

Ahhh yes. I was enormous. Look at that belly!

8

Apparently the angle of my pelvis gave Isla nowhere to really grow but out. It's nice to know that my huge tummy was not entirely due to all of the crap I was eating :) My crazy pelvis tilt is most likely the reason Isla got stuck, although I'll never really know for sure. It certainly makes sense to me though.

Despite that painfully large belly, I'm totally wanting to be pregnant again.

Our Daily Routine

Tuesday was one of those days where I had to keep chanting to myself, "You can get through this. You can get through this." Those days are not fun. Isla was fussy ALL DAY LONG. For really no clear reason. I would love to blame it on teething...but I've been doing that forever and nothing has happened. So maybe it was teething? But probably not. Yesterday she was equally fussy. We both go a little crazy when we are trapped inside all day, and this rain isn't helping the situation. I feel like our days have become a constant blur of play time, Yo Gabba Gabba, eating, and napping...over and over again. Andy and I are constantly busting out with the crazy crappy songs from YGG. If I have to hear him sing "I'm so, I'm so sorrrrrrrrrrrrry. I can fix it, I can make it better..." one more time my head may explode. Anyway, so in an effort to mix things up a bit and not fall into the same boring routine I created a schedule! I like schedules and routines. I'll post it eventually, but basically it includes things like sensory play, music time, reading time, learning time, scheduled walks...stuff like that. I feel like I function much better if I have my day planned out. I'm hoping this will help break up the day for Isla and I and get us out of our boring rut. Anyway, when Isla is napping I am supposed to be showering...so I better get on that :)

On Not Breastfeeding

I do not like breastfeeding. There. I said it. I realize this is an unpopular statement to make, but I really liked nothing about it. Prior to ever being pregnant I said very often that I wasn't going to breastfeed. When I got pregnant I decided I should at least give it a try. Selfishly, it was the thought of burning extra calories that motivated me. I breastfed exclusively for 1 whole day, maybe 2?? We gave Isla formula in the hospital to help with her jaundice. We fed her with an eye dropper though as not to cause any nipple confusion. The first week home from the hospital we had many visitors. I found it easier to give Isla some formula (still with an eyedropper) when we had company over. I didn't want to run upstairs to feed her or whip out my boob in front of people. I'm not cool like that. When we noticed our child was not dying or growing an extra limb from formula, we decided it wouldn't be a bad thing to slowly start incorporating bottles. For 4 weeks we alternated between breast feeding and formula. I also did a lot of pumping to keep my supply up. I preferred feeding Isla this way. It allowed Andy to help with the night feedings and it gave my nipples a break from the shear pain I felt each time Isla latched on.

Whipping out my boob in the middle of the night was far easier than making a bottle. But I had absolutely no intentions of pumping at work. None. So as my maternity leave started to get closer we switched to formula full time and never looked back.

I know many moms who think breastfeeding is incredible and a great bonding experience. I wish I could say the same, but I didn't like having my child on my boob. I didn't like the thought of pumping so I could go away for a night, pumping after I drank alcohol, pumping to store a gabillion tiny bags in the freezer for back up, worrying about when my milk would dry up....it all seemed like too much stress! I very much admire mothers who do these things though. Clearly, I am a convenience over commitment type of mama.

Now, 7 months later the thought of having another baby is always on my mind. I want one soon. Now. And I'm wondering if I'll give breastfeeding another shot?? Probably not. But maybe.

Night Feedings

Isla used to sleep through the night. I thought we were the luckiest parents in the world because she would sleep 10-12 hours straight! She started waking up around 3am when we moved here, and now I think she considers it normal. I consider it horrible.

Last night during my usual sleepy stumble to the kitchen at 3:17am, I decided I was only going to give her a 3oz bottle. Normally I give her 5oz in an attempt to fill her up so she'll sleep longer. But that hasn't been working. She is up between 6:30-7:30am every morning regardless of how much or how little we feed her during the night. I thought perhaps after finishing her tiny bottle she would scream and demand more, but instead she turned herself around, nuzzled her head into my neck, and snuggled with me for a few minutes before I put her back in her crib. I worried she'd be hungry and wake up early, but she still woke up around 6:30. My plan is to give her 3oz for a few more days, then 2oz, then 1oz. I'm hoping in a few weeks her 3am cries will disappear as she will no longer need or be expecting a bottle. Her pediatrician said she doesn't need a bottle at night anymore, but if she is in the habit of eating at night, it will continue.

I need this to work! Night feedings are slowly sucking the life out of me and I'm obviously in desperate need of some beauty sleep.

Monday Movies

Reality Check

This picture pretty much punched me in the gut. Wake up call! Hello monster. Time to get off your fat ass and start running.



If you need me, I'll be at the gym.

Here is my inspiration:



Hi skinny Betsy. I miss you.

On Being Obese (Technically)

Ugh. The word obese grosses me out. I'm officially obese according to my wellness check. My BMI is ridic. Anyway, I totally knew that, but having it confirmed sucks. Surprisingly though, my health is pretty good otherwise. Being technically obese is not fun. My back has been killing me, I've had problems with my heel, and (of course) none of my clothes fit! I've been borrowing all of Abb's clothes when I go out and wearing only sweats when I'm at home.

Being someone who has always been skinny, I now feel like I'm trapped in a fat suit. This enormous body was never in my realm of thinking. I just did not think it was possible for me to gain this much weight. Gaining weight was always hard for me to do...it just didn't happen, no matter how much crap I consumed. Now I'm the person I never thought I'd be. I hardly recognize myself!

Losing weight requires self discipline, something I lack almost entirely. Abb has been all about working out lately. Usually a workout buddy can totally motivate me, but I've been SO TIRED all of the time. It's really a vicious cycle, because I know I'd have more energy if I worked out.

So enter motivation. When I am back to an acceptable weight, 130-135 (funny how I found this weight unacceptable when I weighed this prior to my pregnancy) we will start trying for our next baby. I'm hoping that will be motivation enough!

In typical Betsy fashion, I'm far too hungover to do anything about this weight loss today...so I'm going to indulge in Wendy's and possibly Little Caesars.

Tomorrow. I seriously will start. If I can survive this hangover.

On Parenting: Sleep Routines

Prior to Isla's birth, I was worried I wouldn't have any "motherly instincts". It did take a while for me to feel more confident in myself, but I'm happy to report that I caused no serious harm to Isla in those few days when I had no clue what I was doing :) Now that I have some things figured out, I thought I'd share some things that are working for us.

Being a teacher, I completely understand the power/importance of consistency. Whatever Andy and I were going to do, we both needed to follow through and remain consistent. This was agreed upon before Isla was even born, and it was first put to the test with Isla's sleeping habits.

I think back to how frustrated I was when Isla was tiny. She would cry in her crib all of the time. As much as I wanted to bring her into bed with us, I didn't. I'm happy Andy and I remained firm and consistent with her sleeping in her crib. It really sucked, I'm not going to lie. She would cry, I'd go in there, rock her, put her down, she'd cry again....blah blah blah. Not fun. I thought I was losing my mind. Now, we put her in her crib when she is still awake, and she is able to fall asleep on her own...without even crying! Sometimes we see her on the monitor sitting up and playing with her favorite stuffed monkey. Eventually she will lay down and fall asleep. It amazes me that she is able to do that.

As much as I would LOVE to snuggle my adorable, kissable child I just don't want to start any bad habits. I've read several articles about parents who aren't getting enough "good" sleep because they are constantly waking up at night. I also read the habit can be very hard to break. I've read plenty of great articles about having kids in bed too (ugh!) but with a (very loud) snoring dog already sharing the bed with us, we couldn't add a baby. (I'm not a total sleep Nazi....Isla has taken a few naps in bed with us!)

I credit Isla's good sleeping schedule with a great routine. From birth to 2 months the only routine we really had was to do all night feedings in her room (heck we paid a small fortune on our glider...we needed to use it!). As she got a bit older we started incorporating more into our routine. She gets a bath every night, then we rock her in the glider with her night time bottle, put the Dream Screen on, and put her into bed. We haven't always put her in her crib awake though...we started by singing and rocking her to sleep.

Oddly enough, the one time we've ever brought Isla into our bed to sleep with us she nearly choked to death (well not to death...but I was scared to death that is for sure!). She was laying there, then suddenly she started violently flailing her legs in an attempt to roll over. She started making some gasping noises and we realized she had spit up squash all over the place and she was gagging on it. It had also shot out of her nose and she was having a hard time breathing. I took that as a sign from God that Isla belongs in her bed! I think if she would have been in her crib, not on our soft mattress, she would have been able to roll over and not have to go through that panic. It was really horrible for all of us.

Anyway, this is what works for us. Sometimes I feel a little guilty that I'm not taking advantage of all of the snuggle time, but I'm hoping in the long run it pays off.

Lacking Motivation

I think the hardest part about being a stay at home mom for me is the lack of accountability. I hate, HATE getting up every morning. When I taught, I had to get up no matter how much I hated it. If I didn't get up, I'd eventually be fired. Now, if I don't get up early, the only person I screw is myself. Typically I wait until I hear Isla cry. I can't get up any earlier. I'd love to be all showered and ready for the day before she wakes up...but I just can't get myself out of bed! It really is a mental struggle, and I'm clearly losing. Then I have to spend the entire morning looking HIDEOUS, feeling like a slob, and using toothpicks to keep my eyes open.

Motivation also seems to be a factor. Currently I have 3-4 loads of laundry to do, the house needs to be dusted, and our kitchen needs to be cleaned. Am I doing these things?! Nope. Why?! I AM SO LAZY. This kind of laziness wouldn't be tolerated at school. But I have no one to yell at me if things don't get done, so I tend to lack motivation to do them. They will all get done...but not in a timely manner. I'm not entirely sure when I became so lazy. College? Freshman year? That is my best guess. But there was a point in my life when I showered every morning and got things done ON TIME. Ohhh to be young again.

I could bite this child's cheeks off.

Or maybe I'd go for her chubby little arms first.

She is so kissable. And so happy. I think she's starting to look a tiny bit more like baby Betsy...

I can officially say I've talked to a therapist.

I don't know why I'd ever officially need to announce that, but whatevs. It's never something I really saw myself doing, until my obsession with the end of the world took a turn for the worse! If you ever start wondering if it would be better to:

A. Starve to death.
B. Freeze to death.
C. Kill yourself/family before the first two events could occur.

You probably need help.

The first session was mainly a get to know you type of session. Dr. L suggested helpful ways to distract myself during my obsessive thoughts, but we really haven't gone much farther than that. I'm not entirely sure why I'm so fixated on the fear that the world will be ending sometime during my life. I'm okay if things end quickly...I'm not okay if it came down to a situation where my family runs out of food, we have no heat, and we are basically going to die. That could possibly happen if serious solar flares knock out our power grid...leaving the entire US without power for months. Obviously, this is unlikely, and I realize this, but the thought of panic and trying to survive is just horrible for me. It is very obvious that my anxiety revolves around the fear of being out of control or feeling vulnerable, but what I can't figure out is WHY. So I hope there is some sort of answer as to why I have constant anxiety.

I still joke around about my craziness. So you can laugh. It's a rather interesting topic to bring up while drinking at bars. I'm am 100% confident that this will all go away soon, and I can add it to my collection of crazy Betsy stories. Remember how many times I went to health services sophomore year because I was convinced I was dying of cancer?! Good times. I still remember the nurse flipping through the PAGES of stuff in my file and finally asking me, "Is everything okay at home?" That was all it took to knock me back into reality. Let's hope this time around it's just as easy.

Since I suck at scrapbooking...

I plan on making another video for Isla when she turns 1. I'm also compiling all of her little videos I've taken throughout the months and I'm going to put those all on a dvd as well. I figured it would be fun for her to have when she is older.

Dear Isla,

Happy 7 months! You are getting to be such a big girl. You are a very bright baby and you consistently amaze me with the things that you do. 6 months was really a big month for you...you crawled and stood. I can't even imagine what this month will bring. You are such an easy going baby. You love to laugh, explore, and people watch. You also like snuggling, pulling all of the dvds off of our shelf, and reading books. When you read, you flip the pages all by yourself! You love talking to Torii...every time she walks into the room you start yelling at her in an effort to get her to come over to you. But since you like pulling on her legs and face, Torii does not like to get very close. Occasionally you both will play together with a bone or another dog toy and it is the cutest thing I've ever seen. You talk a lot now, mainly saying dada and agoo, and I'm hoping mama will be next! You squeal with delight whenever you notice the photo collage of you in our hallway. Your favorite toy is still the annoying Superstar Stage. It repeats the same 5 songs and you love to bounce to the music and stare at yourself in the mirror. It is also your favorite toy to use while you practice standing. Your chubby cheeks are ridiculously kissable...I probably give you at least 100 kisses a day, and that is a conservative estimate. I'm so happy I can spend each and every day with you. You make me so happy!

Love,
Mama