I can officially say I've talked to a therapist.

I don't know why I'd ever officially need to announce that, but whatevs. It's never something I really saw myself doing, until my obsession with the end of the world took a turn for the worse! If you ever start wondering if it would be better to:

A. Starve to death.
B. Freeze to death.
C. Kill yourself/family before the first two events could occur.

You probably need help.

The first session was mainly a get to know you type of session. Dr. L suggested helpful ways to distract myself during my obsessive thoughts, but we really haven't gone much farther than that. I'm not entirely sure why I'm so fixated on the fear that the world will be ending sometime during my life. I'm okay if things end quickly...I'm not okay if it came down to a situation where my family runs out of food, we have no heat, and we are basically going to die. That could possibly happen if serious solar flares knock out our power grid...leaving the entire US without power for months. Obviously, this is unlikely, and I realize this, but the thought of panic and trying to survive is just horrible for me. It is very obvious that my anxiety revolves around the fear of being out of control or feeling vulnerable, but what I can't figure out is WHY. So I hope there is some sort of answer as to why I have constant anxiety.

I still joke around about my craziness. So you can laugh. It's a rather interesting topic to bring up while drinking at bars. I'm am 100% confident that this will all go away soon, and I can add it to my collection of crazy Betsy stories. Remember how many times I went to health services sophomore year because I was convinced I was dying of cancer?! Good times. I still remember the nurse flipping through the PAGES of stuff in my file and finally asking me, "Is everything okay at home?" That was all it took to knock me back into reality. Let's hope this time around it's just as easy.