Second Trimester!

Yay!  Second trimester!  I can't say the first flew by, but I'm happy to be feeling better and slowly regaining my energy.  I'm still dealing with some spotting, which sucks, but it has been pretty harmless.  My heart palpitations have significantly decreased, which has been fabulous.  I got talked into getting back on Zoloft by both my OB and therapist.  I'm hesitantly taking 25mg and praying I don't have an alien baby.  I'm almost 100% sold on the idea of VBAC with the help of a doula.  Those are pretty much my latest pregnancy developments.  Oh, and I'm terrified of dying during childbirth.  Did you know the maternal death rates in the US are on the rise?  Yes.  I realize I'm insane. 

We are 98% set on the names Emmy Winona and Sawyer Harrison.  My family hates Sawyer, but whatevs.  I could care less!  I have been going back and forth with the name Annabelle.  I dunno.  It's a maybe.  We also like Gavin, but it's pretty popular.  And I'm not a fan of anything top 50.  We get compliments on Isla's name all the time!  Random people are always commenting on how beautiful her name is.   This means we have to find an equally awesome/unique name for baby #2.  Talk about pressure!  I think Sawyer fits the bill perfectly in terms of uniqueness/awesomeness...and Emmy is pretty without being popular.  We'll have our final names set by ultrasound day which is roughly 7 weeks away!

I had a dream last night that the doctor told me I was having a girl with a penis.  I was oddly okay with this in the dream.  In my head I was thinking we had the best of both worlds.  Can you tell I subconsciously want a girl?!  I am 99% sure we are having a boy though...which would be equally exciting! 

I think Sawyer and I are off to bed.  I do have things going on in my life that aren't pregnancy related...so I'll try to blog about those later :)

Phew!

Baby is still okay.  We heard the heartbeat via doppler for the first time today.  The doctor didn't give us the beats per minute, but it was fast and steady.  Still no concrete reason for the blood...so I've been instructed to call the nurse each time it happens and both the baby and I will continue to be checked after each occurrence. 

While my peanut baby is resting safely in my uterus, Isla is up in her room screaming and banging her head on the door.  Nap time isn't going over well lately.  In the evenings, Isla has learned that if she screams enough, her daddy will take her into our bed and watch a cartoon with her while they snuggle and drink milk.  Now Isla will throw complete tantrums anytime she is in her room in hopes someone will open the door and free her.  And I will not do it.  Call me the bad mama, but I cannot let Isla think that throwing a tantrum will give her what she wants.  It's frustrating that Andy and I do not agree on this.  Ohhh, it suddenly just got quiet up there.  I guess she either fell asleep or knocked herself out with all of that head banging.

Goodness, Isla alone can be a handful.  I cannot imagine what my life will be like when my little peanut is born in roughly 28 weeks :)

Ugh. Seriously?!

The bleeding has started again.  This time there are some tiny clots which I know can't be a good sign.  It's amazing how the blood waits until evening to make an appearance.  Just to mess with me.  Thank goodness I have an appointment tomorrow anyway to do further testing on the cervical irritation issue.  Currently there is no cramping and bloating as there was on Friday evening.  But I'm starting to fear this could become a high risk pregnancy...or that I could miscarry.  I am really trying to focus on the fact that God has a plan.  He knows what will happen to my little baby, and I really don't have any control over it.  I'm just getting really frustrated because this is all happening when I'm supposed to be entering the "safe" zone of pregnancy.  My baby looks like a baby.  He was kicking his legs!  His heart has been beating!  I don't want him taken from me.  It would be easier to handle had I not seen how adorable and developed my little guy is already. 

Please send good thoughts my way. 

Pregnancy rambling.

I am amazed at how different this pregnancy has been from my last one.  I LOVED being pregnant with Isla.  Aside from the exhaustion, it was perfect.  This time around, I am going crazy already and I'm not quite 12 weeks yet!

On Friday I experienced one of my worst fears: bleeding!  Ugh, so terrifying.  I was super bloated and crampy and totally convinced I was miscarrying.  After a frantic text to Kate trying to figure out what to do (emergency room or wait it out) I called my doctor and he said he would squeeze me in Saturday morning for an ultrasound/checkup.  Yay for Saturday hours!  There is no way I could have waited until Monday. 

I was the last appointment on Saturday and the waiting killed me.  After a quick exam the Doctor gave me an ultrasound himself (no tech on Saturdays) which I thought was incredibly nice!  Seeing the little baby kicking and watching his heartbeat was very reassuring.  The bleeding is due to cervical irritation, although the cause of the irritation is unknown.  I need to go back in for a few tests to figure out what is causing the irritation.  So until we get to the bottom of this, I'm on pelvic rest.  No sex, no working out, no heavy lifting, etc.  If the bleeding continues into the second trimester, my Doctor said there would be a chance this could turn into a high risk pregnancy.  Yikes.  So I'm hoping this all gets resolved quickly!

In other baby news, I took a gender urine test Monday morning and the result very quickly said boy!  I had been thinking boy for about a week prior after having a very vivid dream, so the test totally confirmed my thoughts.  Of course, these tests are not 100% accurate, so it will be interesting to see if it was right.  I've got about 8 weeks of waiting until my ultrasound!  I've already been calling the baby Sawyer (even though we haven't agreed on this name...) so I'm hoping my mother's intuition is right again!  I really had no doubts Isla was a girl long before the ultrasound...so we'll see.  I originally had my heart set on a sister for Isla, but a boy would be so fun too!  Obviously I just want a healthy baby.  I would even take a healthy hermaphrodite. 

It's weird being overweight and pregnant.  When I was pregnant with Isla, I was already showing at 12 weeks.  Now I'm just fat.  Still.  With Isla, I gained 15lbs the first 20 weeks.  And 35lbs the last 20 weeks.  GAG.  GROSS.  I've only gained 3lbs right now, and I'm hoping to gain no more than 5lbs by the 20 week mark.  Without working out, it might be kind of hard...but we'll see what happens.  I'm shooting for a 25lb pregnancy.  I weighed 185 the day I delivered...so my goal is to stay under that!!  I started this pregnancy at 155 so I think that is a realistic goal for me!

So yeah.  That's about all.  I'll start posting preggo pics when I actually have a baby belly!