Since I still struggle with anxiety, it has been a difficult few days. I will have various symptoms pop up and I will immediately think I'm dying. I automatically go to worse case scenario when it comes to my health. Now I have to fight my initial thoughts, because I know the anxiety fuels the palpitations. The palpitations may be a direct result of my anxiety. Who knows. So it's really just a vicious cycle. I have to repeat things to myself like, "You are not dying. You are not dying..." "You have a strong and steady heartbeat..." It's super fun. Then I become frustrated with myself because I can't just be normal. I over think, and worry, and convince myself I am sicker than I really am. Then it's hard for me to really gauge what is legitimately wrong with me, and what my crazy mind has tricked my body into believing it has.
My last ER visit was due to a panic attack last spring so I'm trying to be more conservative with my future ER visits. I've been able to control my symptoms (and panic) enough to not go in, however, I will be scheduling a doctors appointment on Monday. For sure. Nights are the worst for me, so I downloaded a meditation app on my phone to use while I'm falling asleep. It helps a little. It's really such a bummer to have my anxiety creep up again since I was just planning on weaning myself off of my medicine! I'm a far less anxious person overall than I was 4 years ago. I will always need my Xanax for emergency purposes, but I'd like to replace my daily medicine with exercise and meditation.
Keep your fingers crossed these damn heart palpitations go away soon! They are really messing with my sanity.
3 comments:
I am so sorry! I have dealt with Anxiety since Mason was born and it SUCKS! Most of mine stemmed from health conditions (that didn't exist except in my head - I was convinced I had rabies at one point and was going to die)! I started the meds for a little bit when Mason was about a year but I am not one to take a lot of meds (I only use Children's IB when I have a headache) so I found other ways with help of my dr to work through the anxiety including exercise and having family available to go hang with when I feel an anxiety attack coming on. I have been doing pretty good for the last two years but this last week has been horrible! I dont know what triggered it for sure this time but it is killing me. I think some of it has to do with Frankie traveling so much right now (he is on a 10 day trip currently and has several more trips planned in the next month). I am not so much worried about my health this time but find myself just crying for no reason and getting anxious about nothing. I packed up the kids last night and went to hang with my mom which almost immediately calmed me down! Having anxiety attacks is not fun and very hard because people who don't understand it sometimes can make things more difficult! Hang in there, talk with your doctor and anyone else who understands what anxiety is all about. Praying the heart issues go away soon so you don't have to worry about them anymore and hopefully that will help the anxiety go away too! If you ever want/need to chat I am available.
Hope your appointment this week went well and the palpitations have calmed down. I have an occasional palpitation, and almost always feel anxious after it. Fortunately, the anxiety doesn't stay around long, but it is freaky and I can see how it could affect a person. I've heard it's rather normal for women in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties, but hope you get some reassurance from your dr.
Anxiety sucks! Hope things get better! Can't wait to see you for girls weekend!
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