Brevin's Birth Story

*Caution:  Read at your own risk.  My language is totally inappropriate at times :)

Other titles I considered:

1. ....and then my vagina almost exploded.
2. "WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME?!"
3. "I want a C-Section NOW!"
4. "Guys, seriously.  I know I'm pooping."
5. "What just happened to my butthole?"
6. "STOP!!!  My hip has been DISLOCATED!!!"
7. "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE."
8. "When you are done with me,  you can sew up Andy's butt too."

I don't know where to start!  Brevin's birth was one crazy event that I'm still processing.  It was intense, exhausting, painful, scary, and amazing.  His birth was so different from Isla's.  I would classify Isla's birth as pretty uneventful.  I slept most of the day from my super powerful epidural, never felt one real contraction, never fully dilated, never pushed, and ended up with a c-section.  Looking back on it, it wasn't that bad.  Not quite sure why I decided to VBAC at the moment...but I'm sure I'll remember eventually :)  Anyway, on with the story...

Brevin was due on Friday September 23rd.  That morning I started having very mild contractions every 4-7 minutes.  I was SUPER excited and hopeful that I would be going into labor on my due date!  Of course, I wasn't that lucky.  After 26 hours or so, the contractions stopped.  Over the weekend I continued to have false labor, but it seemed my little man was perfectly content to stay put as long as possible.  When I woke up Monday morning still pregnant, I was pretty salty.  I decided I was going to try everything I could to get labor started.  Let's just say I had a busy day.  I went to bed that night without any contractions or any signs that labor would be starting.

I woke up Tuesday morning (the 27th) with some mild contractions and knew right away that I was in labor.  I was telling people that I'd be giving birth on the 27th, long before the day arrived...and somehow I just knew it would be happening.  So I texted my Doula, jumped in the shower, and tried to keep my mind off of the contractions.  After about 2 hours of being awake, my contractions started happening 2-4 minutes apart, lasting anywhere from 1 min to 90 seconds.  I got uncomfortable pretty fast, and called my dad to come and get Isla.  My Doula arrived at my house and helped me get through contractions.  We headed to the hospital when I was having a tough time talking through contractions.  At my previous doctor's appointment (almost a week prior) I was dilated to 3cm.  I was hoping when I arrived I'd be at 5...I mean, all of that false labor, plus the laboring at home had to have done something big, right?! 

Holy belly!  40 weeks and 5 days!

Wrong.  Well, kinda.  I was 3-4cm.  Fully effaced though, which was progress.  The doctor didn't want to admit me yet, but they did let me put my stuff in a room (1 of the 2 rooms with an awesome jacuzzi!) so at least I had a room secured.  I walked the halls for about 45 mins?  I'm not sure.  Time gets fuzzy when you are in pain.  Contractions were happening every 2 minutes.  I could hear the nurses talking about how the doctor better admit me soon since I was clearly in pain and in labor. 

Once I was admitted and checked again, I was still at 4cm!  Do you know how frustrating that was?!?!  UGH.  So I jumped in the jacuzzi for a while, but it was hard to get comfortable with the IV in place and the monitor on my stomach.  I labored in there for about 45 minutes before demanding an epidural.  I had wanted to make it to 5cm before getting one, but I was done with the pain.  At this point Brevin was at a -1 station, which is farther down that Isla got, so I felt it was okay to get an epidural since he seemed to be moving down on his own.

It took 2 attempts before the epidural was in place.  The epidural helped to take the edge off but I was still uncomfortable and in pain.  I thought this was normal though, and just dealt with it.  I dealt with it for a VERY long time though.  After many hours of labor I was checked again and STILL AT 4cm!  At this point I totally burst into tears.  Thank goodness I had an amazing, encouraging Doula who helped me labor in different positions to bring the baby down.  Even with the epidural I was able to be on my hands and knees and in a squatting position.  I still hadn't made very much progress so I asked for anything to take the edge off.  I figured if I could just lay and relax, my body would dilate.  I don't remember what they gave me in my IV but it made me loopy and I felt okay for a while.  A while after this I was dilated to a 5.  This was all around 7pm Tuesday night (I was admitted around noon).  I think the doctor was starting to get concerned about my lack of progress.  Getting worried that I'd be forced into a C-Section, I requested a new epidural in hopes of being able to fully relax.  SUCCESS! 

Apparently the first epidural didn't fully take, but the 2nd one felt much better.  I was able to get a few hours of sleep in before waking up to excruciating hip pain.  The pain was HORRIBLE and I couldn't do anything about it!  From then on it was impossible to get comfortable.  I felt it more each time I had a contraction.  At that point, there was some concern about Brevin's position, and the doctor finally determined his face was sideways (?) I think.  I was so damn tired I couldn't think straight.  At this point I was 9cm so my doctor broke my water and I was put in every position possible to encourage Brevin to turn. 

Everything is a little fuzzy at this point.  I know there was lots of barfing.  I started doubting my sanity and my ability to continue.  I definitely asked for a C-Section at this point.  Everyone told me no though, and I was getting increasingly frustrated and physically/emotionally drained. 

Finally.  10 cm!  Brevin was still at a -1 station but it was time to start pushing.  This was 11am on Wednesday morning.  30 hours into labor.  My epidural had pretty much worn off, but everyone said I couldn't have another one.  I was excited that I had made if farther than I did with Isla.  I was winning!  My body was doing its' job!  Woo!

,

Okay...pushing.  I felt everything.  It sucked.  Plus the hip pain was so terrible that I could barely comprehend what was happening.  I totally started pooping right away.  Everyone told me I wasn't...but I could totally feel it.  And smell it.  Sick.  Oh well.  At least it wasn't explosive diarrhea.  The doctor came in around 12 and stayed with me during a lot of the pushing.  I was constantly rotated between 4 positions...2 on my back, and then laying on each side.  I just wanted to lay on my back and push...I was so angry about all of the moving.  Eventually, things started getting pretty horrible.  I was screaming all sorts of crazy things...that I couldn't do it anymore.  That I wanted a C-Section immediately.  That my hip was dislocated.  That I just wanted to stop.  It's amazing what a weird state of mind I was in.  Everyone kept telling me there was no turning back.  I had to keep going.  At that point I demanded my gown be taken off because I felt like I was smothering.  So I had essentially become a naked jungle woman giving birth.  At least that's what I felt like.  I kept telling myself in my head that I didn't want a C-Section and that I just had to just keep going.  (Naked jungle woman = no appropriate pictures of the pushing phase.)

My contractions were a minute apart...no time to rest really.  The whole labor they averaged 2 minutes apart.  Can you imagine??  33 hours of labor with contractions 2 minutes apart?!  I'm so surprised my uterus didn't rupture.

Anyway.  Finally I started pushing like I never knew I could.  I would push and the forcefulness would make me repeatedly gag/dry heave.  The sounds I was making were completely not human, and I was truly in another world.  The doctor left the room for a few moments and after one giant push Brevin was right there.  The nurse ran out of the room to get the doctor, and I was told not to push even though that's obviously all I wanted to do.  Andy and the doctor quickly put on scrubs (Andy got to help deliver) and it was time to get Brevin OUT! 

After a few more rounds of pushing there was suddenly commotion.  I had no clue what was happening.  The doctor announced "OB emergency", the nurse hit a button, a light started flashing and a siren went off (again, I think there was a siren...I was seriously so out of it, I may have made that up).  Andy had to step aside as a team of people literally ran into the room faster than I've ever seen.  At this point I'm hysterical and everyone is just yelling at me to push as hard as I could without stopping.  I had 2 people on each leg pushing it down, Andy said a nurse was evening pushing on my stomach?  It was terrifying.  Brevin was born about 30 seconds later without complication, but his shoulder had gotten stuck in my pelvis, which obviously could have been a big problem.  Crisis averted, thank God!

Brevin was born at 2:21 pm and he was just the cutest little man!  I held him for a while before I needed to be stitched up.  Due to Brevin's forceful exit into the world, and pushing while laying on my back, I tore like you wouldn't believe.  I tore up the front and back through part of my asshole.  Thank GOD the tear didn't extend all the way through.  All of the tearing took 45 minutes to repair.  It was awful.  Andy was holding Brevin and reveling in the joy of our new baby, and I was getting my ass sewn up.  Not cool.  I even told the doctor he needed to sew up Andy's butthole next.  Yep.  I'm classy like that. 

At the end of it all, I was thrilled to have gotten my VBAC and so proud of myself for the marathon that I had just endured.  I would have never thought I had that in me.  Seriously.  It was so intense.  There were so many times I wanted to give up and just demand a C-Section, but I would have totally regretted laboring for that long and then giving up.  I am pretty positive I would have ended up with a C-Section had it not been for my incredible Doula and amazing nurse.  They are the ones I remember by my side.  They kept me going when I didn't think I had it in me.  I feel incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by such great people during Brevin's birth. 

My little man was totally worth all of the exhaustion, pain, and stitches.

8lbs 12 oz 20.5 inches!  Just a tiny bit bigger than his sister...

Welcome to the world Brevin!  You are truly the sweetest, most perfect baby.  I love you tons!