Dear Hemorrhoids,
You are a pain in the ass. Literally. I hate you with all of my heart. You are making me miserable and I'm terrified of what is still to come. Please retreat back into my ass and hide forever.
Thanks,
Betsy
Dear Man Who Invented PeaPod,
Amazing work! Seriously. Genious. I love you. Nothing beats shopping on the couch, and having the groceries delivered less than 24 hours later and carried into my kitchen! LOVE! Because of you, I will rarely need to see the inside of a grocery store. This makes me insanely happy.
Much Love,
Betsy
Dear Angela,
I enjoy beating you at Words With Friends. It makes me feel extra smart.
Love,
Betsy
Dear Lady at CVS who gave me a dirty look for buying a Mountain Dew,
SCREW YOU! I strongly believe it was Mountain Dew that made my first child so awesomely smart.
With No Love,
Betsy
Dear Tom,
Thanks for ditching Isla's birthday party. Isla asked about her Uncle several times. Remember, I did check with you 2 months in advance to assure you were free on that date. You are very selfish. I know your phone worked since I saw you called dad on Sunday. I hope you are scared to contact me. You should be. Next time, grow some balls and at least send a text or email saying you weren't going to make it. Maybe mom really did drop you on your head or microwave you as a baby. Dad might be on to something...
Betsy
7 years ago
1 comment:
Love it, I have a few letters I would like to send as well! Sorry about Tom missing her birthday - I have dealth with that with some own siblings (not birthdays but other special events) and it hurts! I think it hurts mom more than child but none the less it hurts, when he has kids someday he will understand how important they really are (sadly for him it will be too late as he has already missed one of Isla's big events)! And now about this Words with Friends game... I want to play!!
Post a Comment